new

tiring but special dae..

2004-11-23T15:38:00.000-08:00

hihi..back from orchard..went 2 orchard jux now wif my sis n my grandpa's best fren, can sae is relative bax..we went all e way 2 orchard jux 2 buy storybooks 4 me n my sis..tis relative is really very kind-hearted..he gave a so many early 'christmas' presents 2dae..we bought dunno how many books n a boardgame which cost bout $200++ in total i tink..my sis n i were kinda shy n we dare not reject wadeva books he picked 4 us, so tt was all about it, so we spent so much money jux now..feeling so 'pai seh' now..but oso feeling very happy on e other hand as i've got sth 2 accompany me throughout tis whole holidae le..so happy..very satisfied wif wadeva books he got 4 me..i thanked him so much..it was indeed an enjoyable n unforgettable dae..hehe..

2dae is actually a very special dae 4 me..feeling so happy..hehe..jux felt tt time really flies..hehe..its been so long le..hehe..okie..dunno wad shld i sae le..gtg read 1 of e storybooks bought 2dae le..till now..bye..signing off wif sum things in my mind now..

*considering sum things now*

~praying, praying n praying~

shocked, surprised, overjoyed..

2004-11-22T23:54:00.000-08:00

argh..2dae is e dae..all because of 2dae, i had spent many sleepless nights thinking of how bad it i would feel if i m not in e class which i always wanted 2 go 2 or how gd it would be if i could get into e class i always wanted 2 go wif so many gb frens in e same class n so on..i kept dreaming..

woke up quite early tis morning..den i couldnt get back 2 sleep le..den i quickly smsed liping 2 ask her bout sum other things n also found out tt she has gone into e class i always wanted n strived 2 go to..i started 2 feel scared n was very very frightened..i wanna go tt class..i wan..i quickly jumped out of bed..went 2 get ready 2 go 2 sch n received a sms frm huimin..she told me i wouldnt need 2 cry le..i was a lil shocked n still dun believe wad she said..after receiving tt msg, i dare not ask more qns le..jux wanna quickly meeet aikkun n make our way 2 sch as soon as possible..

once i reached sch, sum1 made me felt annoyed as tt person made fun of me once i jux step into sch..it was so annoying..i ignored tt person in wadeva tt person did..hate it..so sickening..den after tt, i quickly ran 2 find out i've got into my first choice..i got there..i was shocked, surprised, overjoyed n felt like screaming..hehe..i tink i was jux too happy until become mad le..but i didnt do those of cos..im jux so happy..felt a lil sorrie 4 sum1 but i dare not tell tt sum1..hope tt person is alright now..

so happy..at last i could hav a gd nite's slp 2nite le..argh..hehe..

at nite time, went 2 a restaurant 2 celebrate my great grandmother's bdae..she shld be 84 or 85 tis yr bax..still quite healthy n strong..so envy her..hehe..my family was e last 2 arrive..so embarrassing..we were late.."no, we aren't late, is jux that they r early" quoted from princess diaries 2..hehe..no la..jux kidding..we were late, so we sat at e same table as my great grandmother n grandaunt n granduncle..so sad..my sis n i were like so extra there..e 2 only kids sitting there..we were so quiet throughout, unlike ourselves at all..den whenever we were waiting 4 e nxt dish 2 come, both of us would always go 2 e other table where all our cousins r..enjoyed tt part of e whole celebration only..

tts all i hav 2 say 4 2dae le..now den i noe 2dae's blog is e longest i tink, ever since e sad incident..okie..gtg le..signing off ~claudia~

thanking GOD 4 answering 2 my prayers..

~praying more often~

played golf

2004-11-21T22:32:00.000-08:00

waa..it had been a long time since i hav gone down 2 e putting green downstairs 2 play golf le..wow..jux found out tt my skills hav became bad 2 worse..so long nv go and practise le..become so lousy..i think i should go down more often, or else 1 day i might even 4get how 2 hold it..hehe..jux kidding..or my aiming become very bad( actually it had always been bad) hehe..

haix..so sad..my aunt don't need me 2 help her with her business le..i've got nth 2 do in e holiday le..so sad..i'm finding for a job now but, y izzit so difficult 2 find jux a part time job? argh..it is so bored at home..hav nothing 2 do de..hope can go out wif frens 2 any where also can, as long as is outside home can le..everyday stay at home, wad do i do almost everyday? quarrel wif my sis..if there is 1 day when we r not qurrelling, den sth must be wrong..

hope i could find sth 2 do throughout tis whole long holiday..hope can occupy myself wif sth in hand so tt i wont feel lonely n bored..tts all 4 2dae..will try my best 2 blog more often..getting lazy le..hehe..okie..signing off..bye..

...

2004-11-19T18:14:00.000-08:00

2dae was kinda tired..had drill jux now..kept going on n on wif e turning(dunno how 2 spell..hehe..) throughtout half of 2dae's drill..hmm..actually was kinda fun n nice 2 c e whole contingent working so hard 2 co-operate wif each other 2 form a neat contingent..hmm..den throughout e next half of e drill, we practised e procedure 4 nxt yr's speech dae 4 bout 3 times? or 4? not sure..but sum ppl were still not sure yet..but i m quite sure after 1 or 2 practises, every1 would be clear of e procedure n everything le..

haix..find tt tis holiday seems rather bored..got nth much 2 do..bout 2 daes a week gotta go my mum's cousin=my aunt's house 2 help her wif sum work cos she had started a business wif 1 of her frens but it seems like she is working on her own..so i decided 2 go n help her 4 FREE!!!

haix..dunno wad 2 sae le..gtg..bb..

at e chalet

2004-11-12T10:30:00.000-08:00

hihi..back 4 another blog..hehe..tis few daes were kinda fun..hehe..went 2 chalet..hehe..first 2 daes were kinda fun cos my frens were there wif me..playing, starting e bbq fire n many more..it was really fun..but really wanna sae a little sorrie u all..cos my cousins said tt i ps them, so they wanna chu qi, den ordered us de..thx 4 coming too..hope tt all of u enjoyed urself.. ;) especially hj n zz, nv slp throughout e might cos not enough rooms 4 u 2..hehe..happy counting how many stars outside, how many aeroplanes flew by n so on..hehe..thx 4 coming..

~HAPPY HOLIDAES TO EVERY1 OUT THERE~

~touched~

2004-10-28T17:20:00.000-07:00

i jux wanna say i was really very touched wif wad u hav wrote..really..very touched..thx..i was so happy wif wad u said.. =) u hav alwaes been my best fren from e start..perhaps no words can really describe how i m feeling now..jux hav tt sense of happiness coming..

actually, i hav alwaes wanted 2 go in front 2 u n say 'i m very sorry'..but..i really dun hav e courage 2 do so..but i will definitely say it out 1 dae de..*XpromiseX*

BEST FRENZ 4EVA!!

thx again 4 those ppl who were there 4 me n wif me..

~continue praying~

thanks

2004-10-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

i jux wanna say thanks 2 e following ppl 4 being there 4 me when i m down..valerie, hui min, julian, li ping, sze ying, hong jun, mr sin n many more..thx so much..i really appreciate it..i will take sum of ur advice de..but i will definitely not give up in asking her 4 her 4giveness de..i do hope tis dae would really come..

~praying hard~

...

2004-10-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

hehe..so happy..jux got myself a new hp..so happy n satisfied..hehe..

jux got back from sch..jux completed wif my banner making..at last..it is all done..yeah..actually, i jux dun seem 2 be happy now n mayb 4ever..i jux read my ex-best of the best fren's blog jux now..i didnt noe y..my tears r coming again..mayb i will nv get tis person's 4giveness n trust n wad so ever anymore..

whenever i look at her, i jux felt sorrie n speechless..y muz frens be so important in life..i'm jux wondering..once i c her, i jux feel like walking towards her n say sum things 2 her..but..my courage..my dare..everything was gone..i m really changing a lot after tt incident..haix..perhaps she jux dun wan n unable 2 4give me..i jux hav 2 take it..ever since den, i hav alwaes been listening 2 encouragements from other frens telling me 2 stand up again n stop tinking bout tt incident anymore..but..it alwaes coming dashing out from my memory..i jux cant take it anymore..

i hav been very very stressful all tis while..first was tt incident n more of stress r coming..is bout my parents..i jux dunno y she keeps on keeping an eye on my, keep on checking on me..i m already a grown up..can u give me more freedom? there r lots of things which i aint happy bout u two's decision n so on..but wad can i do..keep quiet..i dunno y i dare 2 speak up last time when i was younger..but now..i hav lost my best of e best fren already n i simply jux keep everything inside me..+tears r coming out again+i really dunno wad shld i do..can sum1 tell me? i m feeling very pressurised..do u all noe? i alwaes tell u bout my unhappiness last time, complaining 2 u wad kind of frens i had in my pri sch..but now..i find it so difficult 2 speak up..2 share my feelings..my hearts has been broken up into pieces..wonder who can heal it..maybe only my ex-best of e best fren can do it bax..

y muz dere be so many worries in life? y cant a person jux live simply without worries? i really wanna noe those ans..i was worrying bout exams last time, i m worrying bout my results now, i will be worrying bout which class i would be going 2 next yr n many other worries after tt..i really cant cope wif all tis worries, stress, unhappiness, pressure n everything..i jux cant cope all of them..really worrying bout my results 4 now..dun dare 2 go 2 sch 2moro..wonder how i did..badly? fairly? good? haix..all would be revealed 2moro..=(

my heart has been crying 4 a very long time already..tink it is flooded already..haix..jux hav 2 keep everything 2 myself 4 now..jux be happy n smile at all times in front of my frens can le..no1 can ever noe how i m feeling now..all i could do is jux talk 2 GOD whether i m happy or sad..

~~praying very very hard~~

e exams r finally over!!!!!!!!

2004-10-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

yeah..so happy..e exams r finally over!!!!!!! argh..feel like shouting..at last a very very very big stone is out of my heart oready..yeah..

went 2 wy house jux now wif hj,hm,julian,zz,..yh n jg..quite fun, but feeling so tired n a lil relaxed..i really dunno wad shld i do now when e exams r over le..jux feel like going 2 e beach or seaside 2 shout out loud..

haix..didnt do wad i wanted 2 do 2dae again..quite disappointed..but there will be a nxt time de..i m waiting very patiently..really..hehe..hope i can do it soon..

(still praying hard)

signing off ~claudia~

~my day!!!~

2004-10-08T18:40:00.000-07:00

feeling so happy..its my 14th bdae 2dae!! thx 4 all e presents all of u hav given 2 me..i really appreciate it very much..thx soOo much..it is an unforgettable dae indeed..i was sick yesterday n feeling quite bad n 2dae..is such a wonderful dae..i will nv 4get 2dae..thx 4 e bdae song 2e3..n oso e 'saboing'..hehe..it was quite fun though..hehe..thx soOo much..2e3 roxs!!

~cuddling onto 1 of my presents~
-still praying-

fun..

2004-10-01T17:59:00.000-07:00

jux came back from huimin's house..went 2 buy birthdae presents 4 all e octobers babes i noe (ppl like julian, hanis, aik kun, valerie, szeying n stef)(all of u shld expect sth from me on ur birthdae..hehe..) 2dae wif huimin..there is a very big hole in my pocket now!!! but it is alright..jux 4 e sake of my frens..i dun mind..hehe..dunno y there r so many octobers babes..hehe..i m 1 of them too..hehe..jux a few more daes 2 go..hehe..so excited..hehe..wanna sabo ak on her bdae..hehe..shld be very fun..hehe..

tis morning was a lil disappointing..didnt get 2 do e thing tt i planned 2 do..haix..but shld hav more chances de..hehe..

i m trying very hard 2 hide my feelings already..hope no1 can really tell how i m actually feeling..still feeling a lil sad..praying every single dae tt our frenship would become better every dae..n oso praying tt i could really concentrate on my studies now n try not 2 tink bout it 4 a while (although i noe is impossible)..jux praying hard everydae..

~hoping 2 hav ur true 4giveness soon~

sad sad sad sad sad

2004-09-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

jux read my best of the best fren's blog...started 2 cry again..i really dunno wad shld i do..really missed e times we had last time..i praying real hard everyday asking 4 her 4giveness n everything..really very sad..nowadaes during recess time n almost every single dae after tt incident, both of us r like jux frens..not e same as last time..really regretted wad i hav done..i didnt wan 2 tell any1 how i m feeling..so deep inside my heart, its all broken into pieces n like unfixable anymore..it is really very heavy inside..i really dunno wad i shld do..all i can do is pray, cry n tink of e happy memories in e past.. :'(

~praying, crying n thinking of e memorable times~

i m really very sorrie

2004-09-23T18:27:00.000-07:00

hey..2 my best of the best fren..

i m really very sorrie 4 wad i hav done..hope u could really get over it..i do noe how u feel, but dun really wanna bring out the sad past anymore..really very sorrie..I SWEAR I WILL NV DO TT AGAIN IN MY LIFE!! i learnt my lesson le..really very sorrie..tink u still haven get over it yet bax..hope u could really, truthfully 4give me soon..i was really very sad when both of us suddenly juz quarelled liddat den like break up in our frenship..dun 4get, we r 'steads'..(sum of u noe wad i mean) really very sorrie..

really hope tt we could still be as close as last time..talk bout all our secrets together during recess time in the parade square or during gb..

I M VERY SORRIE..

~feeling stressed up~

2004-09-16T17:44:00.000-07:00

hi..sch was alright 2dae..went back home kinda late cos of e heavy rain..

e exams is round e corner le..i jux cant concentrate so much..wad shld i do? can sum1 give me sum suggestions? i need sum help here..especially 4 my sci, geo,dnt n lit..i need help!!

will be having drill 2moro..hope it would be better den last time..hehe..looking 4ward 4 2moro's drill..

dunno wad shld i rite already..shall come n blog again another dae..

~feeling really sorrie 2 sum1~

signing off wif lots of stress n a little sadness..~claudia~

~a little different from other daes~

2004-09-14T18:08:00.000-07:00

hihi..here again 2 post another blog..hehe..still thinking of wad title i shld put 4 2dae's blog..hehe..maybe after writing den i noe wad title i shld put le..okie..kinda crazy..hehe..

2dae was kinda fun..during e first 2 periods 2dae, mr sin did not cum 2 teach us..i heard tt he is sick..wonder how he is now..hehe..lolx..dun mistaken..hehe..jux concern only..hehe..den we got our class photos le..so many ppl went around e class asking 4 every1's 'autograph'..hehe..n i was busy doing hwk at tt 2 free periods where no tr was in class at all..hehe..so happy..so much freedom..our class was kinda quiet though..after tt, almost all e lessons of e dae was boring except 4 music n eng..we heard a song on 'cartoon heroes' 4 music..i find tt song not so interesting, so i didnt bother 2 learn how 2 sing it unlike other songs we learnt in music..4 eng, mrs lu didnt cum 2 sch again 2dae..really wonder wad happened 2 her..okie..during eng lesson, mdm saleha, i tink if i m not wrong wif her name, came 2 relief mrs lu..e whole class was like..'haix..y no free period..' in e end, we had 2 do a worksheet given by her n she made us find e 'lame' surprise in e worksheet..it was really very lame..hehe..but i tink most of us enjoyed her lesson jux now..hehe..

after sch, we had home econs test..i tink i will not do well tis time..i made a lot of mistakes..haix..so sad..but i will difinitely buck up 4 e upcoming exams de..i jux started 2 revise 4 e eoy exams le..so happy i could start now..so tt i will not be in a hurry when e exams r really coming..hehe..

okie..at last i found out wad shld i put as e title le..hehe..

here a little msg 4 my frenz:
a fren like u is a gift tt engraves a smile in my heart..
it gives me memories tt will stay in me not 4 a while, but 4 a lifetime.. (",)

~feeling so much better now~

2004-09-11T20:04:00.000-07:00

harlow..back 4 another blog..can tell tt i m feeling better now..hehe..2dae was kind of a fun dae..quite satisfied..

we, i meant some of e GB gals, went 2 east coast 2 kind of help out e BB boys by putting up a little performance 4 e ppl there..it was a gd experience 4 us..but there was a little problem over there..i was standing at e back n had not enough space 2 do some steps of e dance..i had problem turning around n some kind of squat down during e dance.. it was so embarrassing..hehe..lolx..but i found out sumthing..i dun really hav stage fright 2dae..it is a little gd news bax..so tt i can prepare myself 4 e performance during assembly on tis coming wed..feeling kind of scared n excited..hehe..looking forward 4 tt dae..

den after e performance, we went 2 e beach side 2 enjoy e scenery n peacefulness..hehe..we played wif e fine sand tt aikkun n i likes a lot n wrote lots of things on e sand..hehe..so fun..n unforgetable..hehe..all my stressed was thrown a side at tt time..hehe..

we went back 2 sch after all those was over n played 'zong ji mi ma'..hehe..so fun..we stayed behind in sch 2 continue playing..had all sorts of funny punishments 4 those who said e number(4 those who noe how 2 play will understand wad i mean)..hehe..

i m feeling so much better now..after tt dae..2dae is e happiest dae among tis whole week i tink..hehe..so cheerful now..

-so irritated n feeling betrayed-

2004-09-08T08:52:00.000-07:00

hi again..here 2 add in another entry 4 my blog..a lot of bad things hav been happening tis few daes especially 2dae..i hav 2 rite it all out or i will burst into tears soon..

tis morning was still alright..had history lesson on chapter 11..kinda special cos first time having lesson wif 2 classes combined together..

after tt, bout 12 plus, i went 2 meet aik kun n janice 2 find our way 2 alvina's place 4 another dance practice..met li ping n sze ying nearby n went 2 look 4 e place together..waa..her place was so difficult 2 find(unless u stay there den u noe how 2 go)..we practised like normal practise in sch..it was kinda fun till i received a msg from so many ppl asking me e same qn on sum1 who is not of a close fren of mine..they jux keep threatening me n irritating me..i was feeling so sad, vexed, irritated,complicated n threatened..jux not in a gd mood 2dae..n i heard bout sumthing which i m not supposed 2 noe which made me even more sad..

den i went 2 play badminton 4 a while jux now..after tt, when my dad wan 2 fetch me tt time..when i board e car, i sprained my ankle..it is so painful..hope it will be alright by tis sat..hav performance tis sat, hope will not affect too much..haix..so sad..who can heal all my pain n sadness? i really dunno..

haix..i jux feel like disappearing from tis world n nv come back again..haix..

signing off wif lots of sadness n tears in my eyes ~claudia~

-feeling so bored-

2004-09-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

hi..back 4 a nxt blog..hehe..feeling a little bored tis few daes..got nth much 2 do..

2dae was another boring dae..went 2 army open house-cum-army family day tis morning till noon time..it was so boring although i saw a lot of tanks n bunkers or wadeva u call all those there..but i felt tt it was not a place suitable 4 me 2 go..i saw lots of shows there too..done by e army personel..actually, it was alright lah..well done, army personels..hehe..

i would rather go play badminton wif aik kun, jasmine and so on together..haix..wonder how was thier game..shld be very fun..haix..tink i missed e fun..so sad..but there is still a nxt time afterall..hehe..

haix..tis holidae seems so normal..still hav 2 study like normals sch daes n so on..haix..feeling so stressed up..e end of year exam is coming le..argh..can die ar..so stressed..juz cant concentrate when i m studying..keep on thinking of playing n playing n nth else..haix..

feeling so bored tis few daes..cant chat wif 1 of my frens..so lonely..all i can do is 2 tink of tt person..haix..

gtg le..shall drop in sum other dae 2 put in another entry 4 my blog..signing off ~claudia~

~feeling so bored n lonely~

~sad gal~

2004-09-04T19:54:00.000-07:00

hihi..i got nth to do now..i couldn't update anything in here tis few days as sth was wrong wif my blog..couldnt log in..hehe..

feeling so sad..cried in sch yesterday..so sad..y muz all tis bad things happen all at e same time? m i having too much stress or m i over worrying? y do i feel like crying all e time when i m happy at certain things on e other hand..okie..i might be toking nonsense, but sum of u out there might understand wad i mean..haix..y muz they act like nth in front of me? i m already a big gal..can both of u share bout ur feelings wif me..it hurts me very much when i see both of u pretending tt u can cope even wif all tis happenings..i m feeling very sad..do bout of u noe? i dun tink so..i dun tink i shld tell both of u as i dun wan u two 2 worry bout me..

i m really happy tt u r there 4 me..really appreciate e things u give me everyday..thx so much..i will always tink of u when i feel like crying..thx so much..heard tt u r going 4 holiday..wishing u bon voyage..hope 2 c u soon..

my parents r downstairs wif my sis watching shrek 1..wonder how e show is..i didnt feel like going down 2 watch it, so here i m writing all my feelings secretly..

~crying secretly in my heart~

new

2004-08-21T23:59:00.000-07:00

hi..kinda new here..jux wanted 2 try sth new..hehe..i tink im crazy..okie..feeling so happy tis few daes..hehe..but tis morning was kinda boring..had geog common test..it was a little easy..tink i can pass even if ms ho is the one marking it..okie..den after e geog test was gb..feeling so upset..many things had changed..really wonder y..first was devotion..it was alright..nxt was drill..it was so warm under e hot sun..had 2 teach e sec 1s drill..they were kinda blur at first but getting a little better later..after tt was ce..it was alright..but wad was so bad was tt i had 2 read e whole of a chapter in e bible out 2 e whole of sec2s..keep trembling..hehe..so shy..after ce was bagdework..hehe..so excited..gonna make a banner 4 gb..wonder how it would turn out 2 be..hehe..singspiration when well n everything was fine..jux feel a little stressed cos drill com in round e corner le..den nxt yr is g.o.h..so fast..after tt when out wif ak,lp,sy,shu hui n janice..had our lunch together..so fun..we were sharing some secrets n so on together..den at evening time, i went online,i asked julian 2 send 2 me sum of e songs he had bute com was playing a trick wif us..hehe..keep failing 2 send..in e end, i could only receive 1 song from himwhich is e 'colours of the wind'..thx so much btw..den sum things happened when i chat n i felt so lively n happy after tt..den i went offline..smsed 2 my godbros..sharing our problems n so on..hehe..tis dae is quite a moody but fun dae..oh ya..n first time writing such a long diary..so fun..okie..willupdate more another dae..cya..

new